Not Giving a Fck*

For most of my life, I wanted to be perfect.

I wanted to be the person who pleased everyone. The one who got the nod of approval in every meeting. The one who never let anyone down—at work, at home, even with strangers. I’d go out of my way to be liked, accepted, validated. And for a while, I thought that was the right way to live. After all, what’s so wrong with wanting to be a good person?

But the truth was more brutal. That mindset drained me. It made me anxious, defensive, constantly second-guessing myself. Every “no” felt like a failure. Every bit of criticism felt like a personal attack. And despite all the effort, I still couldn’t be everything to everyone. I failed—more than once.

It was during one of those low points that I picked up The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fck* by Mark Manson.

At first, I thought it was just another edgy self-help book with a catchy title. But a few pages in, something hit different.

Manson doesn’t sugarcoat. He writes with raw honesty, profanity, and a healthy dose of tough love. The core message?
We all have a limited number of f*cks to give—so we better be deliberate about where we give them.

That was the wake-up call I needed.

The Real Shift

Reading the book helped me realize that constantly chasing approval was a losing game.
Trying to make everyone happy was not just exhausting—it was impossible.

The key wasn’t to stop caring altogether. It was to care better.
To choose my values intentionally, and be willing to disappoint some people in the name of what truly matters to me.

I started asking myself hard questions:

• Am I doing this because I believe in it—or because I want someone’s praise?
• Am I avoiding conflict because it’s right—or because I’m afraid of being disliked?
• Am I chasing someone else’s version of success—or my own?

The more I reflected, the more I realized how much of my energy was being wasted on things that didn’t deserve it. And how many things I genuinely cared about had been pushed to the side.

What Changed After That

I stopped over-apologizing.
I started saying no to things that didn’t align with my goals.
I gave myself permission to not be perfect—and strangely, that made me more confident.

Of course, I still have moments where I fall into old patterns. But now, I catch myself. And instead of spiraling into guilt, I remind myself:
You can’t control what everyone thinks. You can only control what you choose to value.

That single idea was a game-changer.

Final Thoughts

If you’re someone who feels stuck trying to be everything to everyone…
If you feel like you’re constantly putting yourself last for the sake of keeping the peace…
If rejection or failure feels like it breaks something in you…

Read this book.

It’s not gentle. But it’s honest. And sometimes, that’s exactly what we need.

Not giving a fck isn’t about apathy.
It’s about choosing your fcks wisely.
And once you start doing that, everything begins to shift.