📞 Power of Showing Up

📞 Loneliness, Friendship, and the Forgotten Power of Showing Up
3-minute blog read on building intentional relationships that protect our emotional well-being

We’re social animals. That’s not a metaphor—it’s biology. We punish the worst criminals with solitary confinement because isolation breaks us. And yet, in our normal daily lives, many of us choose a kind of emotional isolation, often without even noticing.

I’ve realized something simple but profound which was also mentioned by Peter Jordanson: the more I think about myself, the more miserable I become. Obsessing over our feelings, anxieties, and shortcomings only tightens the loop. The real way out? Connect. Give. Serve. Be present for someone else who you really care.

🧠 Self-Esteem Is Not Self-Centered

We’re often told to “work on our self-esteem” as if it’s a solo mission. But here’s the truth: self-esteem is built through long-term, functional, reciprocal relationships. Why? Because good relationships are stable, dependable, and emotionally regulating.

What psychologists are now acknowledging is that most “self-esteem” metrics are actually just low neuroticism. You want to feel better about yourself? Then serve others, consistently and sincerely. That’s a sustainable fix—not a social media post, not a self-help buzzword. Service. Presence. Real friendship.

📉 The Decline of Friendship as a Priority

Let’s be honest. There’s no curriculum for being a good friend. We have books on romance, marriage counselors, and endless apps for networking—but no one teaches us how to show up in the mud when a friend needs us most.

Too many people are crying into their TikTok camera when what they really need is to call a friend. But we’ve become rusty. We bump friends for work meetings because we know they’ll “understand.” But ask yourself—do you give your friends the same respect you give your boss?

Friendship shouldn’t be your backup plan. It should be your life plan.

☎️ Intentional Friendship: The 9:45 Rule

One of the most moving examples of real friendship I’ve heard from Simon Sinek involved a man who lost his father. Instead of offering a one-time “thinking of you,” his friend texted:

“I’ll call you every day at 9:45 a.m. Don’t feel obligated to pick up. Just know I’m calling.”

And he did—every day—for months. At first, the calls went unanswered. But eventually, they talked. Every day. That’s friendship with intention, not convenience. That’s what we all deserve—and what we all can give.

✅ So What Can You Do?

• Stop waiting to feel better before reaching out. Reach out, and you’ll feel better.
• Treat friendships like meetings. Block time. Don’t cancel.
• Be the kind of friend who shows up without needing to be asked.
• Don’t chase self-esteem. Build relationships, and confidence will follow.
• Call someone today. Not to ask for anything—just to check in.

If you’re feeling stuck, anxious, or lonely, remember: you don’t need to fix yourself alone. The path out isn’t inward—it’s outward, at least for now.

And no, you don’t need a million friends. You just need to be the one good friend who shows up at 9:45.

#SelfEsteem #RealConnections #MentalFitness #CallYourFriends #HumanConnection